Smoke alarms are assholes.

Smoke alarms have such hero complexes and they’re not afraid to tell you about it.

My friend said, “Like over eager men; they just want to save you.”

I said, “Men are slightly quieter, but I can yank the batteries on smoke alarms, so it’s a toss-up.”

They are such narcissists, just hanging out in the corners, above everyone. They’re just waiting to be seen and heard and throw their own shit show that no one can ignore.

Drama queens!

And the criticism they give to anyone cooking in their own kitchen, it’s like smoke alarms are pretentious little chefs and no one could do it the way they do it, so don’t even try otherwise you’re gonna hear about it.

I want to ask it who pays the rent. Me. So I guess I pay for that little asshole to sit high in his corner and judge me too.

*sigh* We are so hard on ourselves.


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