I turned 42 in April and immediately passed a milestone in aging and boobery. 42 is when I started stuffing things into my bra to
Category: Age Spots
I love to (pretend I want to) go dancing.
George: “It’s more like a full-body dry heave set to music” (Seinfeld) I wish I could dance like a white girl because that would be
Brené Brown: You can’t live the rest of your life worried about what other people think. You were born worthy of love and belonging.
”I think midlife is when the universe gently places her hands upon your shoulders, pulls you close, and whispers in your ear: I’m not screwing
I’m declaring martial law on Facebook birthdays.
To help save money I’ve stopped wishing people Happy Birthday on Facebook. Alright Facebookers, this is getting ridiculous. Thanks to Facebook we can’t ever pretend
I secretly have no patience for old people.
Tuck your tits into your belt and let’s go play Bingo. I secretly have no patience for old people. I keep it to myself mostly,
When I’m 80, I’ll finally get away with things.
After watching my parents getting old, I’ve realized this life of being a lazy writer and comic is really going to save my back and
Like a tree, you can count my vaginal rings and tell how old I am.
On April 23, 2013 I turned 37 years old. Apparently I have a meltdown every couple of years over my age since the last documented
My birthday is going to be in one month. I’m going to be older.
I had a bit of a crisis when I turned 35. It started a month before where I journaled a 35th birthday countdown of sorts