2 black cat crossing myths that are hilarious bullshit.

black cat, cats, pets, humor, funny, bloggerMyth #1

We’ve all heard of the black cat crossing your path thing, but this one takes the cake on black cat myths.

There’s an old myth that says, “A women seeking a husband should own a black cat to keep plenty of suitors at the door.”

THIS IS A LIE.

I know this black cat myth doesn’t specifically mention a black cat crossing anything, but hear me out. My black cat is pretty cross about visitors so he wouldn’t bring them home even if they were rats he killed.

So unless you count the guy selling boxes of meat out of the back of his truck from a home-sized freezer, the drunk guy wanting my washer, the pizza guys, or the rando 20-somethings trying to buy the landlord’s parked RV, then no, I don’t get a lot of suitors at my door.

Maybe I just need more black cats (said the middle-aged, single woman).

Myth #2

If a black cat walks towards you, you will have good luck, if the cat walks away from you, you will have bad luck.

Is this the whole black cat crossing your path thing again? I’m confused.

But if there’s a whole coming and going element, and I own a black cat so there will always be coming and going, what they’re saying is, my luck is always changing?

Or must you not own the black cat crossing your path for this to work?

For frick sake.

What they really need to tell me is, what happens when your black cat:

A. Scratches your upholstery
B. Wakes you up at night
C. Stares at the wall for, like, ever
D. Vomits in your shoe


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